2/23/24: Control Your Sexuality

2/23/24: Control Your Sexuality

Only 5 months to train for the July 2024 Summer Olympics. You are all going to watch some part: track and field, basketball, rowing, swimming. Right now, the athletes who plan to compete in those games are on a training schedule which will land them in the best shape of their lives so they can compete for a gold medal. Perhaps one area you need to really work on is to control your sexuality, because it has the capacity to crush so many of your other goals.

Victor Prather was a Navy surgeon who was on the team that developed the first space suit. They took a test flight on a massive hot air balloon to the edge of outer space to test the spacesuit.

…so much planning, so much expertise, so many contingencies – Yet this one move…just sliding up your face shield…thinking you were going to breath in fresh air…turned into the kiss of death. This one move resulted in the loss of his life, trauma for the team and devastation for his family.

This is not unlike the danger we put ourselves in, our teams in, our families in, when we don’t control our sexual desires. I wish this was a small problem, like one guy in the space program who made a grave mistake. But the problem of porn is widespread.

Lack of sexual control is not a new problem. We see it in Proverbs 7:21-27 and Proverbs 6:32, “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.” We see this self-destruction in the Bible:

  • The man after God’s own heart: David

    In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. And David sent and inquired about the woman. 2 Samuel 11:1-4a

    He was alone with no accountability. Then…he saw, he inquired, he sent for her, he took. For all of David’s courage and commitment to the Lord, after his adultery, family destruction followed.

  • The wisest man in the world: Solomon 
    In Deuteronomy 18:17, we find instructions for kings – “He shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away.” In I Kings 11:1-3, for all his wisdom, we see Solomon do exactly what the Lord said not to do and he ends up creating a civil war for the nation.
  • The strongest man in the world: Sampson
    In Judges 14:1-3, Sampson feasted his eyes on forbidden women and what happened to him? His eyes were gouged out!


  • 68% of church-going men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis
  • Of young Christian adults 18-24 years old, 76% actively search for porn
  • 55% of married men say they watch porn at least once a month
  • 57% of pastors say porn addiction is the most damaging issue in their congregation

1. Re-enforce that sexual immorality is wrong: 

I talked to a married, church-going guy, very well-known and respected. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with viewing porn!

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Matthew 5:27-29

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do now know God. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

The body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body…Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:13 & 18

2. Re-enforce that sex is a good gift given by God: 

Quotes from wise men – Solomon in Proverbs 5:15-23, Tim Challies, Run to Win, pages 108-110, and the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 7:2 & 9

3. Re-enforce the pattern sin follows: 

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. James 1:14-15

Desire – enters the mind

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. II Corinthians 10:5

Demands – A desire walks into your mind and is dressed up in such a way as to demand your attention!

Dominates – You feel like you are no longer in control. It gets implanted in your mind and must be satisfied!

When you indulge in sexual sin, it reveals what you truly believe about sexuality. You believe that the pleasure of sin is better than the pleasure of obeying God by enjoying sex the way God created it to be enjoyed. You believe that the pleasure you derive from your sin is greater than the consequences your sin will have on you and those around you. You believe that your momentary pleasure is greater than the rewards the Lord has for you – both in this life and in the life to come.  Tim Challies

Death – The thing that you thought would be so satisfying has brought death to your soul, destruction to other people, devastation to your wife and family.

4. Breaking the pattern:

Confession and accountability-

For when I kept silent my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me, my strength was dried up as by the heat of the summer. Psalm 32:3-4 (David)

You must bring your sin out into the light of God and others. In order for sin to die, it must first be exposed. You won’t defeat it on your own, you need accountability. Grace can be found!

You must learn to hate your sin – You must see it for what it is. You are using people for your pleasure and de-humanizing them. Scrolling porn pictures and videos adds to the terrible injustices done to women.

Radical measures – You must be willing to be weird!

If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Matthew 5:29

Do you now know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things…So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control. I Corinthians 9:24-27

The Greek word for “exercises” is the word “agonize.” Paul’s strategy includes to strain, to agonize, to make every effort, to go all out. It includes taming the appetites of his body.

Do you remember Daniel in the Old Testament? He was a young, college-aged man who was captured and taken to Babylon. Babylon wants to totally reprogram him. They changed his name, his language, his education. Do you remember how Daniel drew his line of resistance? Recall what drastic action Daniel took. He refused to eat the food from the king’s table. Daniel knew in the middle of all this upheaval in his culture he must train his appetite. Daniel knows if he doesn’t train his appetites, he will develop a hunger for the culture and once that happens, the King of Babylon can do whatever he wants with him.


  1. At what age did you first encounter porn or some sexual dysfunction? What one bad effect did it have on you?
  2. Review the pattern found in James 1:14-15. Desire – Demand – Dominates – Death. Discuss how you have seen this pattern in your own life fighting against sin.
  3. What’s the biggest obstacle in overcoming a lack of sexual control OR what’s hardest to resist?
  4. Why doesn’t marriage sole this problem?

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